A Special Message

On February 3rd, I was sitting at my work desk when a colleague came in rather quietly and said, "I feel like God is telling me to give you a message."  I put my pencil down, pushed my paperwork aside, swiveled my chair to face him directly, and listened.  "He is as interested in your heart issues as He is in your physical."  He paused for a few moments.  "Maybe God wants you to just have Him in your life right now and not another guy."

This was more than a message ... it was a life-changing revelation for me!  Here's why:

On January 11th, one of my physicians phoned me with the results of a recent MRI of my brain done because I was having symptoms of vertigo, nausea, and dizziness.  The doctor told me the report indicated that I have a brain tumor in my cerebellum which is most likely slow-growing and benign, and my only decision at this point is to decide whether I want to go to Stanford or UC Davis for a consultation and/or treatment.  WOW!  I wasn't expecting that.  

I was thankful to have a new friend visiting me that evening, and after I told him what transpired in my phone conversation, Greg gently said, "It's just a brain tumor.  I will help you deal with it." I was thankful to have someone to process this information with me that night and when Greg left, I switched my focus to prayer.  

In the next few days, I followed up with making the necessary arrangements to go to UC Davis, and my appointment was scheduled for February 20th.  I wasn't ready to tell anybody in my life about this even upon my boss' suggestion in case any symptoms should occur at work.  I simply tended to the business of this situation until I heard that all-familiar voice loud and clear say to me, "Yiota, if you don't tell anyone, you are robbing people of the privilege of praying for you. You will not be able to glorify Me if others don't know about your BT.  Let people know, help you, and be a testimony of your love for Me."  Yes, this was my second WOW!

And so it was ... I began to share about my BT.  I was humbled by the loving and caring responses of family, friends, and colleagues.  I was filled with a renewed love for my Lord and Saviour, and the joy with which He filled my heart is unmeasurable and indescribable.  As the days and weeks passed, I continued to take care of business with the mentality that I will prepare for the worst and hope and pray for the best.  I didn't want any of us to be caught blindsided should my BT be a bad BT!  

In the meantime, I have struggled with heartache of the romantic type for quite some time ... more like years and years  I have been wanting a boyfriend for so long it's more or less my mantra now.  I've been told I discard men like some women discard shoes, although I will tell you I keep my shoes forever.  I am very discriminatory when it comes to men, and the moment I learn a man does not love the Lord at least as much as I do, he gets dismissed.  It's not at all a tough thing for me to do because Jesus comes first!  

When Terry told me that God cares about my heart, initially I could not comprehend how that applied to my life on that particular day until February 16th.   When I awoke and opened my eyes to find my beloved dogs next to me and my cat on top of me, I felt a stirring inside my soul.  I didn't have time to ponder it at that moment because it was a work day, and I didn't awaken in enough time to do so.  As I plodded through the morning, however, I felt something different ... I felt "light-hearted" and very happy even more so than usual.  I had gotten in the habit of rereading Terry's message to me, and this morning when I did so, the big bulb lit up in my head! My goodness ... the reason I was feeling so happy was because heartache was being lifted!  WOW #3!  

On this day, I added "Heavenly Father, please remove anything or anybody from my heart that does not belong there ... that is not of You"  into my prayers.  God is a mighty and awesome God for all things, and I will tell you that for this simple prayer request, a mighty and awesome change has occurred in my heart that can be described simply as a heart of contentment, peace, and joy.  I could not ask for more, and this is WOW again!   This testimony doesn't end here.

The reason I am writing this post today is because earlier I recognized another WOW.  At the time God revealed to me (through my colleague) that He wants me to be happy with Him alone, (for a couple of weeks in January) I was seeking encouragement from a nonbeliever who was readily available when I should have only been buddying up in prayer with the Lord Himself without other worldly influences regardless of the genuineness of the friendship.   I had doubts about Greg's perspectives as well as the basis of the friendship, and while I chose to not pursue questioning it more actively, I have questioned myself about why not !?!?!?  Today God made it most clear in a passing thought that it was a friendship based on false pretenses that He wanted removed from my heart intentionally.  WOW!

The Book of Jeremiah tells us that if we seek Him with all of our heart, we will find Him.  I pray that I/we seek Him in this way each and every day.  He wants to be with us in everything (good and not so good) in our lives simply because He loves us so much that He went to the cross for us.  I don't know how I would ever have the strength to get through life without Him.

Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness.

Then all these things shall be given unto you.

Alleluia